Long time geek, fangirl, mother, and reader. I've got a lot to say, you might not like it all, but it will be honest and hopefully helpful.
[From an interview with a group of eighth grade girls.]
"So if one of your friends has done something to bug you or make you mad, or sad, do you tell her about it?"
"No!" came a chorus.
"Why?" I asked.
[Later on in the same conversation.]
"What if," I asked, "you were just telling someone how you felt, because you felt bad? You know, to make yourself-your friendship- feel better?"
"Then you might hurt her feelings," one said. Nods. Locking eyes.
"Can you tell someone the truth and not be mean?" I asked.
"The truth hurts," a girl in the corner said quietly. "That's why I lie."